The Week Begins

I feel so great right now, in this very moment in which I’m typing this. The year got off to a bumpy start, but I can truly feel the vibe ascending steadily, and the feeling is heady. I’m coping in varsity, actually paying real mind to my work. Not to mention I’ve made a few new friends – always easy on the eyes, but this time I really got blessed with beauty in my midst – and strengthened bonds with old ones. Men wise, I’d say I’m off to a decent start in terms of self control and such. The reason for that may just be because an opportunity hasn’t presented itself, but will can play a part too. In terms of my lifestyle changes, I’m quite proud to say I’m doing pretty decently with the exercise and eating right. Even with a slight hangover I managed to do some toning exercises, and I’m proud to announce that I haven’t had any sweets since Friday last week.

I’m hoping and praying that this week, if not this entire lifetime, can stay at this level. It’s just so great feeling chill throughout the day, just smiling and plodding on happily. Holy shit, it might even be addictive. I might develop some severe obsession with chill. But I mean, even if I do, it’s probably like being addicted to apples or something equally harmless.

By the looks of it, my year’s motto will come into play beautifully. I am prepared to kick ass.

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Rant of the Week: Holier Than Thou

When I decided on this change in lifestyle, I expected shade and, in most places, a lack of support. I wasn’t expecting anyone to cheer me on every time I did even a little thing right. But holy shit, shutting me down to my face in a deadpan voice like I’ve done it before when I tell you I’ve set a fitness goal is really just so unnecessary. As I write this post I sit on the safe side of seething at how sure of my failure this ‘friend’ was. This isn’t me swearing our eternal enmity, I mean I still love the girl. But what is it that makes her think she, and any other girl who thinks it up, can do it but I’m sure to fail? I’m not sure if I’m hurt or hacked, but I know now that I’m even more driven to get this right, but now with less discussion except with the people that actually push me to better things.

God, I am so annoyed right now.

But anyway. We turn bad into good, do we not? You can’t rise up if you’re not being pulled down by anything at all.

This post has given me an idea: I’m going to do a Rant of the Week series where I get it all off my chest in one post per week, then let it go instead of dwelling. That way I can get out of the habit of constantly bitching.

Damn, I’m great when I’m pissed!

Sugar Daddy Needed – Preferably A Crossdresser!

Hell, if I’d known that having my outfits on point every day was this stressful, I’d have carried on wearing my grunge uniform of band tee and jeans! But alas, I’ve made myself a promise. Plus my ‘first day outfit’ kinda set the tone for the rest of… My life, I guess? I don’t really mind, it’s just that I’d much appreciate new clothes to fill the gaps in the amazing outfits I think up. Meh, I’ll think of something.

I’m currently obsessed with the first few minutes of The Floor Show from The Rocky Horror Picture Show, mostly because Tim Curry in drag is the most exciting thing on this earth (and Brad Majors’ part is just … Whoo!). I can honestly say I wish I was a guy just so I can dress in drag and strut like him. With my excitable googling, I found out that there’s actually a Mac range dedicated to Rocky Horror? I’d love to get my hands on it.

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Fully Loaded

Okay so I’m back at varsity full time now, and my GOD there’s just inspiration walking around everywhere. Girls doing what I want to do (not exactly the same, but enough to get me jealous) are driving me mad with impotent ambition – impotent because I don’t have the same tools they have. For one, they have a gym membership. For two, they have parents that get them whatever they want. And for three, they all have cars. It’s frustrating that I’m driven, but I fall just short of the point that’ll push me into earnest action. But I have full confidence in myself, because I know my tendency to obsess will take over and by the time it passes, the results will have me coming back for more.

In other news, my apartment is coming together the way I’d hoped, but I still need to get into the routine of cleaning almost clinically. What I’d really like to work on is the decor. A friend dropped the idea of a black shag rug in my head and I must say, I quite love it. I’ve inadvertently gone for the minimalist look in my lounge. Sexy, I think.

I’ve been living like I’m owed something by the world, I’ve realized. Men, school and image are especially susceptible to this complacency. But I’m going to change that.

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Sunday Funk

There’s no feeling more unique than having plans on a Sunday. And not normal routine activities either – I mean things that a person needs to plan because they don’t happen often. Plus it’s generally nice to have something to look forward to in the week, especially if there’s nothing particularly riveting to do.

I had a training show on this fine Sunday morning. I should probably have been less excited about it, seeing how I’ve been riding for ten years now and I should be aiming higher. But hey, a show is a show to me right now. It was just great that I got to do something non-routine with my star horse – and get a first and a fourth place for just that. Apparently a very sweet gay guy wants to half-lease him from me – nothing serious intended, though. He essentially wants a rent-a-pony to love and play with and take for walks, just for fun. My riding friends and self-appointed mentors think it’s a good idea, and I think it would be selfish of me to say no and deny Izzy some well-deserved affection, so I decided to meet him today at the show and get to know him. To say he’s a sweetheart would do him no justice. This is honestly just a teddy bear of a man who honestly fell in love with my horse the moment he met him. And he gave me my very favourite wine! It’s quite a nice little upside that I get on with him. I think it might’ve been terribly awkward if I didn’t – wow, actually even just the thought of that makes me uncomfortable. But honestly, this man is just happy to have a horse to sit on and love, to the point where he’s about to lavish me with gifts as a thank you. He offered to give me driving lessons! It’s an interesting concept to get my head around, sharing my horse, but I’m very happy to mull it over while the best possible candidate does exactly that.

On a completely unrelated note, I’ve run out of groceries and money way too soon in the month. This screws me in so many ways, for obvious reasons. And it’s not like I went on some reckless spending bout and ended up with some fancy new threads – I honestly just paid for the stuff I needed, and am now poor as a church mouse. How exactly does one do fancy new shit when one has no money? Of course the obvious solution would be to find a job, but I genuinely have no time, thanks to my lectures. If they’re not at awkward times, they’re all day. But I’ll figure it out, I guess. I’ll need to, if I don’t want to starve. And run out of wine.

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